Many married couples eventually stop sleeping in the same bed after the honeymoon period is over. Couples do this for many different reasons, and sometimes the reason is unavoidable. If one of you works a night shift there may not be a whole lot you can do about that, at least not immediately. Other problems, however, can be worked out.
While it may seem harmless to sleep in separate rooms, for many couples this is the first sign that they are drifting apart, or may even cause them to drift apart due to the lack of physical closeness. If this is something that is bothering you, or you think it may become a problem, then it is something you should fix right away before more problems develop as a result.
Often the cause of a couple sleeping separately is snoring. One person snores, and the other is kept awake all night by the noise. Rather than have to repeatedly wake up the other person or endure hours of sleeplessness, sleeping in separate rooms or even on the couch may evolve. While this seems to be a practical solution, resentment can often build over time and become destructive to the relationship. Rather than sleep separately, why not try the variety of snoring cures available on the market. It doesn’t hurt to try a few, and eventually you will hit upon the right one and solve your problem altogether.
Other times the issue is that someone is a bed hog or one person gets hot at night because the other rolls into them. Investing in a better mattress may be the cure for this situation, since a quality mattress won’t have the “sleeping on the side of a hill” effect on the smaller spouse. If you’re purchasing a new mattress anyway, think about a king-sized one so that you both have plenty of room. If one person is rolling into the other all night long, they can actually be trained to stay on their side of the bed. Place a rolled-up blanket or other obstructive device down the middle of the bed, and their unconscious mind will soon learn that rolling over to the other side results in discomfort.
If all else fails, visiting a marriage therapist to discuss the issue may be in order. This person can help you figure out the root cause of your inability to share a bed, and help solve any underlying problems before they grow larger.
